Stay at Home Mom – the Most Undervalued Job 12

Do you think people give a stained look when they hear you are a Stay at Home Mom? Here are few reasons to shatter those views and be proud of who you are.

I don’t have a “9 to 5”,  I have a “when I open my eyes to when I close my eyes”! – quotes a Stay at Home Mom.


The Trigger Behind

For the past few years, I constantly hear an outrage from many mommy friends who are staying at home to take care of their kids and family.  They feel so bad about how they are being undervalued and at times treated worthless irrespective of all the hard work and sacrifices they make for their family. Some of them were even being humiliated.

I was horrified to see those beautiful women who were once strong, talented and optimistic standing at the very edge of depression. This is the century where the society treats both men and women equally. This is also the century which has more small families with no elders around to care for the kids. This, in turn, necessitates the highly educated women with good careers to crash their career aspirations and settle at home for the betterment of their kids and family.

Even then why are those Stay at Home Moms getting bad treatment while what they deserve is some appreciation and support? I felt a very bad notion is getting rampant in the society. This could be a blight on the mothers who are creating the foundation for the future bigwigs of this world. All these attributes hit me strongly on the head and the heart which stimulated me to write this post.

Do you think people give a stained look when they hear you are a Stay at Home Mom? Here are few reasons to shatter those views and be proud of who you are.

This post is dedicated to all the Stay at Home Moms who feel they are not getting the due recognition in spite of the challenges they face and sacrifices they make to create a happy family.

All the generous men, who are already cherishing their Stay at Home Spouse with high respect, my heartfelt appreciations to you!( including my hubby who is my greatest support and asset 🙂 )

All other people who think a Stay at Home Mom is ‘an unemployed woman who is not capable and couldn’t earn on her own and depends on her spouse for a living’, hope this post will be an eye opener for you.

The Job and its Goal

Before registering my thoughts, I would like to proudly emphasize that

I am a happy mom of twins, who quit

‘a highly recognized, well Paying Job outside my home’,

for taking over the

‘Stay at Home Mom Job and achieve the goal of nurturing my family’.

Do you wonder why I mentioned Stay at Home Mom as a job and nurturing my family as a goal of the job?

I hate calling it so. All the Stay at Home Moms pour their love, care and affection in taking care of their family. They never do it mechanically nor they do it expecting some valuable returns as in a Job.

But still Yes! I have to refer it as a job to boost ourselves and prove our worth to those few who are blindfolded with the thought we are not valuable to the society.


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Stay at Home Mom – a Devalued Job

Do you think people give a stained look when they hear you are a Stay at Home Mom? Here are few reasons to shatter those views and be proud of who you are.

Managing a family doesn’t stop with earning money, there is much more to complete it.

All the tasks mentioned below are also of utmost importance to keep a family organized.

  • Taking care of kids and their schooling
  • Handling bills
  • Shopping for groceries
  • Cleaning the house
  • Cooking
  • Doing a pile of laundry
  • Coping up with the other daily chores
  • and the list is endless

Depending on one’s family circumstance and preferences, sometimes a woman sacrifices her dreams and career and take the role of managing her family from home. Do you think she gets the credit she deserves? No, not always!

This is why I felt Stay at Home Mom should be referred as a job. A job which is performed with no monetary gains. Hope this will change the perspective and highlight the value of this essential role every family needs.

Let’s dig it in more detail.

Mothers classified

Out of all the wonderful mothers out there, some of you will be ‘Full/Part time Working Moms’, some will be ‘Work at Home Moms’ and the rest ‘STAY AT HOME MOMS’. This is how the most adorable humans – MOTHERS are classified.

I am personally against this concept of grouping women based on whether they work and earn money or not.

One cannot value a mother’s love, care and support towards a family on the basis of money.

I appreciate all the so classified ‘Full/Part time working’ or ‘Work at Home’ Moms who strive hard to financially support their family. In addition to your paid job, you also take care of your kids, family and manage all the household works. Of course, you have your own sacrifices which might not be understood by everyone all the time. Bringing a perfect ‘work – life balance’ is not as easy as it is being preached. So kudos to you!

The third category of mothers are the ‘Stay at Home Moms’. At least we have a stylish title now better than how our mothers were called before – ‘House wife’!

Existing definition of a House Wife / Stay at Home Mom

Do you think people give a stained look when they hear you are a Stay at Home Mom? Here are few reasons to shatter those views and be proud of who you are.

‘A House Wife is a woman who prepares food, cleans the house, be responsible for the kids, does laundry, teaches the children, takes care of any ill member of the family, does all other odd jobs to keep the family running on track and STAYS AT THE HOUSE.’

Irrespective of all the other work a woman does to take care of her family, I wonder why only the last point captured the mind of whoever created this title. She ‘stays at home’.

Roles in a family – Who does what?

We do know, earning money alone cannot bring everything that a happy family needs. There should be someone to organize things and make sure to fulfill the needs of all other family members.

If both Mom and Dad are working, then they have to share the other responsibilities of the house among themselves. Or they can request for their parent’s support or keep a paid helper. But if only one of them is taking the responsibility of earning, the other person can take the role of managing the family. However, it need not be a woman always.

But most of the time, the responsibility of earning is taken by men and all other duties are taken over by women. It doesn’t mean they are NOT capable of earning. It only implies that they can do this job well and better pertaining to the basic nature of a man and woman.

A man has the strength and toughness to work outside.

A woman has the patience and compassion to take care of the family.

But again men and women can reverse their roles as long as they are good in whatever they do for the betterment of their family. I have seen families where women go out to earn and men manage the other tasks. It totally depends on ‘who can do what well?’ and ‘how is your family circumstance?’ and ‘what are your preferences?’


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Every Role has its own Job

Now, do you agree that everybody in a family is doing a job?

A job to have a beautiful, happy, lovable family.

A job which not only has to earn money but earn happiness, marvellous children, good health and good virtues.

So anybody can stay at home and support in creating cheerful families. It can be a ‘Stay at Home Mom’ or ‘Stay at Home Dad’. Of course, it is an unpaid job! Though all the payment a stay at home mom/dad will expect is a bit of understanding and appreciation for what he/she does and not money.

Appreciate each other’s job and live the life to the fullest.

Respect the Stay at Home Parent

If you are supporting your family from home and someone asks, what do you do for your living? Keep your head high and say with pride ‘I am a HOMEMAKER / STAY AT HOME MOM/DAD’

The next time when you hear someone say ‘I am a STAY AT HOME MOM/DAD’, never underestimate them. They are doing their JOB in the bestest way!

Do you think people give a stained look when they hear you are a Stay at Home Mom? Here are few reasons to shatter those views and be proud of who you are.

I wrote this post more women – centric as the population of stay at home dads is very less. I highly respect and applaud all the Stay at Home Dads who are doing a much daring job! You guys rock!

Hope this article revealed the inner voice of many beautiful Stay at Home Moms over there! Wish this brings a smile in you and echoes the thought,

‘Hey you are doing a great job, Mommy!’

If you loved this article, Please feel free to spread the love.

Are you a Stay at home Mom? What are your challenges of being a SAHM? How is the society looking at you? How do you overcome the depressing factors? I would be happy to hear your thoughts, do share them in the comments section.

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Do you think people give a stained look when they hear you are a Stay at Home Mom? Here are few reasons to shatter those views and be proud of who you are.

 


Image Credits : Main image by Cia de Foto via Foter.com / CC BY


About Janani Viswanathan

Janani Viswanathan, is a proud stay @ home mom of twin boys and an ex-software professional. She rejoices her motherhood and spreads the happiness by sharing her experience in raising twin kids. She loves to explore the world of parenting and discover numerous ways to bring up emotionally and physically strong children. If she isn't blogging, then you can presume that her little ones are keeping their mom busy.



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12 thoughts on “Stay at Home Mom – the Most Undervalued Job

  • Suchitra

    Great post, Janani and thanks for informing me about it. I can’t even imagine making it work well with twins. Twice everything 🙂 Kudos to you.
    You make some strong points that I would want to elaborate upon from my POV at some point in a post too. The problem though is, much as I am proud of being a SAHM, I am somewhat ambivalent about it and in many ways, still consider myself reluctant in that role. There are good days and bad I guess…like in every job and perhaps that is the point.
    Something that annoys me about those who have no clue what it takes to be a SAHM is when they go the other end and praise us for being SAHMs to the point where they sounds fake and patronizing.
    I have to admit though, being one is mostly great and for that, no regrets whatsoever.

    • Janani Viswanathan Post author

      Thank you Suchi ! I do agree with u. There will be good and bad times, but as you said that can happen in any job.There is a quote,

      “There is always space for improvement, no matter how long you’ve been in the business.”.

      So we learn from our Kids and we get better everyday 🙂 They are the real teachers who shape us in every aspect. Yes those fawning comments may be perplexing at times. But the thought we are doing the best for our kids will keep us determined. Waiting to hear more from you about the adventures you have with your kids and as a SAHM!

  • Ryan

    Mad respect to stay at home moms and dads. I’ve had a couple weekends where it is just me and the kid and I am exhausted afterwards! I don’t know how you do it full time

  • Kristin KH

    This is wonderful! I’ve been SO happy being a stay-at-home-mom, but it has been interesting. As much as I love it and want to continue to stay home, I have always felt the need to be on the lookout for something I can do from home to contribute to our finances or have something to say when people ask what I’m doing… For some reason, I am unable to stay content as a SAHM. It is very interesting, because I know I work hard, but I still can’t get over that stigma.

    We SAHMs are amazing and are doing amazing things for our kiddos. Thank you for recognizing that and helping boost those of us in this position!

    • Janani Viswanathan Post author

      Thank u Kristin. It’s true that we feel ourselves being idle at times, as we couldn’t contribute to our family income. If we really can find some time and pitch into something which will drive some money, I am sure each one of us is trying to do that. We certainly make sure that we can provide all the support that is possible from our side. So its kind of trickier being a sahm and feeling content. And we cannot always expect others to boost us. So this is a little self appreciation to keep up with our good work ☺

  • Kathy

    Being a stay at home mom is so tough! I stayed home with my 10-month old since she was born and it really is the most difficult but rewarding job I’ve had. It’s non-stop. No sick days. Stay at home moms and dads need a lot more credit.

  • Caitlin

    As a stay at home mom I really appreciate this post. It was not easy for me to quit a job I loved to stay home, and I often feel undervalued and unappreciated. Still, I wouldn’t have it any other way and feel I have the best job in the world. It’s great when your husband is supportive like ours and that friends and family value what you do too. Thanks!

    • Janani Viswanathan Post author

      Thanks for stopping by Caitlin! Yup! This job needs credit in the form of love, support and appreciation. But even that little comfort is lacking in many families, leaving the SAHM’s to feel depressed.

  • elizabethbrico

    I shared this a lot! It’s so true! I wrote a much longer comment but for some reasons I couldn’t post it and now i don’t have the energy to rewrite it all. Please just know I love this article. It really hit home and I totally agree.