Every No a parent utters, will have some good reason or objective attached to it. Achieving this objective is not simple, as you may have to face many after-effects of uttering the NO. So it is necessary to pursue certain skills which will help you to succeed in saying No to your child.
This is the fourth post in the blog series ‘Saying No to your child’. Previously we explored the impression of No on Parents and Kids, the reasons why you should say No to your child and the right ways of Saying No. In this post, I will be discussing the consequences of your No and those skills required to sustain and succeed.
The Ramifications of your NO
The very moment you say No to your child, you should be ready to face many hard hitting stones. There will be hindrances in all forms, pushing you to fail the mission. The effects may be multifaceted. If you have to succeed in saying No to your child, you have to flip away those stumbling blocks and proceed.
I have listed some of the factors which might hinder you from achieving the sole purpose of your NO.
The immediate effect of your No will be a big tantrum from your child. He will be super disappointed for being stopped from doing what he loves to do. The anger, frustration, disappointment everything will carry over him and make him uncontrollable.
You cannot blame him either. After all, he is a little explorer and cannot perceive the fact that you are controlling him for his good. Definitely not on the very first attempt.
The Emotional blow
Somehow you would have handled his tantrum and made him calm. But all the scenes which happened will be constantly running on your mind.
The way you disappointed your child, how he cried, how he was frustrated everything will be haunting you. You will have a great meltdown. Nevertheless to say, it can break your heart and make you feel guilty.
Even if you don’t feel guilty from your child’s emotional blows, soon you will. Anybody, a visitor at home or a stranger in public place who watched you for quite sometime will make their judgement. They may not realize the primary reason why you were restricting your child.
But they will feel pity for your child and advice you not to set severe limitations. Some may even comment that you are heartless, pitiless and stone-hearted mostly behind you and at times even straight at you.
Recommended : Stay at Home Mom – The most undervalued job
How to overcome the negative effects ?
This is not the end of the consequences of your No and there can be many other negative effects. Everything will make you feel like you are the most cruel Mom in the world. Many questions will be hitting you hard.
Am I hurting my kid?
Will he stop loving me?
Am I disappointing him?
Will he move away from me?
You will be gradually confused whether you are doing the right thing and start doubting your intentions. Soon you will give up and succumb to these after-effects of No.
But relax, a mom will never hurt her kids unless she feels it is for their good. Never have the doubt ! You are the mother ! You know which is good for your kid ! And your kid can never understand it until he has grown up. You know the necessity, limits and which is right for your kid.
Don’t be carried away by your little one’s emotions.
Shut your ears for the external comments unless they really make sense.
Trust only your mommy instincts.
5 Skills needed to succeed in saying No to your child
So there are many foes standing your way to stop your NO. To succeed in saying no to your child, you definitely need some skills. Let’s identify them.
The primary skill you will need to succeed in saying no to your child is having tremendous patience. You need patience to handle the tantrums that will pop up every time you say NO, patience to make your child understand that you limit him for his good. And you have to be patient and not react to the external opinions and comments.
You are limiting your child to discipline him, to teach him some good virtues. To quote plain, you are restricting him for his good. So be patient and aim at achieving the main purpose of controlling your child.
As we discussed already, there will be many obstructions on your way. You have to be always aware that you are not simply restricting your child but doing it for a reason and stay determined.
You should be stubborn about your decision and act stone hearted (as others might call you 🙂 ) for the long time wellness of your child. Never give up! Be determined and stubborn, don’t get carried away by the external factors and emotional storms.
Re-iterate for yourself that you are doing this heart breaking process only to raise good and healthy children. Don’t let the negative waves wash through your right parenting attitude.
Never get bound by the consequences and change your valid No’s to purposeless Yes’s. Be optimistic and look forward for a great change in your kid.
Recommended : Recipes for Toddlers and Kids
There should always be a genuine reason behind limiting your child. If so, never bounce in your decisions and confuse your kids. Like, letting him do something one moment and restricting him from doing the same at some other occasion.
This will only result in further chaos and you cannot succeed in saying No to your child. Be clear on what you have decided and implement it with consistency.
Constant appreciation will improve your chance to succeed in saying No to your child. Kids like being applauded and praised for any activity or behavior. It will urge them to perform much more better.
So never forget to appreciate them every time they oblige your No. Be grateful and surprise them with tiny gifts.
These are some of the skills which will help you to sustain the consequences of controlling your child. Holding to these will help you to succeed in Saying No to your child.
Hope this blog series is adding some value to your parenting journey. Please leave your thoughts in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by!
In the next post, I will pen down some contexts where saying No can turn negative.
Posts in the series ‘Saying NO to your Child’
- Saying NO to your Child – Impression of NO on Parents & Kids
- 7 Reasons why parents should say NO to their children
- 6 Right ways to say NO to your Child
- 5 Skills needed to succeed in saying NO to your Child
- 9 Prominent Reasons why Saying No to Your Child is not Working
Pin this for Later
Note : Added text to the original images used in this post.